The month that flew by fast

Dear Internet,

It’s funny how 31 days had passed but I can’t recall it! I have already mentioned the highlights of the month in previous posts (Ed Sheeran concert, obivously!), but other than that my July was filled with work, trying to spend every minute with Jozo before he leaves for Europe, registering for classes, and seeing my cousins from California (which I will tell you guys all about in an upcoming post).

I suppose what I’ve learnt throughout the month are two things:

Family will forever support you, no matter the distance. I haven’t seen my cousins for three years, and a lot has changed. Two of the boys have matured, and my other cousin, Zachary, introduced us to his longtime girlfriend. One of my cousins had stayed behind due to his internship, however, we were still updated with his life. He actually got baptized again, from a Catholic to a Born Again. This was a big change, but nonetheless, he has been practicing for the last year and as long as he is happy with his decision and the way he sees life, then I’m happy for him. My sixteen year old cousin stayed with us a little bit longer, and we’ve noticed such a big change from the boy he was at thirteen. He used to be angry, mad, and ran on very little patience, but little did we know, he was depressed at that time of his life. Now, he is more vibrant, patient, and kind. He had also told us that he is bisexual. He is happier with his life now that he has also started water polo and joining swimming meets, however, he feels like he has no one to talk to back home, as he didn’t tell his parents yet; but, I am happy that he was comfortable with us to let us know. This warms my heart. Zachary and I were always close, so it’s no surprise for him to tell me that he is thinking of proposing to his girlfriend sometime in the year! I was jumping in the car when he told me on our way to Costco to grab gas, and I am so happy for him. He had mentioned that this weekend made him realize that, for sure, he wants to spend the rest of his life with her by his side. This made my heart so full and totally wished that Jozo was here to share this moment with me. I love my family, and I can’t wait until we are reunited again. I plan to head to San Francisco in December to surprise Zachary at his graduation, and again to San Deigo for my cousins graduation in May/June…and maybe Jozo will come with me…….

I don’t think I can do long distance relationships. Having Jozo away for so long has not really tested our relationship, but has challenged it a bit. Being in separate time zones is one huge factor for us, as usually when one is falling asleep the other is just getting up and starts their day. I didn’t think being six hours behind would be hard to catch up to him. I told you guys before how we try our best to talk to each other, even if it’s less than a minute, but what we’ve been finding convenient is taking videos at the beginning or end of our day in order for us to “talk”.  It’s been incredibly difficult, especially that I felt like priorities have changed while we were apart. One day during my break at work, which is usually 30 minutes, I called Jozo, however he declined it because he was watching a recording of an GoT episode………………this did upset me. All day, I was looking forward to hearing him and actually conversing with him, but he chose not to answer me because of a show which he can go back to watching after we talked. I know that I shouldn’t have been so upset, but if you’re apart from your love and you haven’t talked to them as you normally would, then you look forward to that one conversation you’ll have. Taking vlogs of our day, although convenient, isn’t the same as talking one on one. It’s been two days that I’ve actually had a conversation with Jozo, and I miss him soooooooooooo much. I know he has a busy schedule during his time there and I had just finished my staycation here in Toronto with my cousins over, but it totally sucks not having him around. I wished that he could’ve met my family this past week, and that they’ll learn to love him like I do. I wished that I was over there meeting his side of the family, because who knows when I’ll ever see them. I wished that he could’ve bonded with Zachary, and I would’ve been nervous at my aunt giving Jozo a lecture. I wished that I could’ve had dinner with his grandpa, although we both wouldn’t know what the other was saying. I wished that my uncle would’ve given him pointers on riding a motorcycle. I wished that we would’ve been exploring his homeland together. I really wish for us to be okay and have our time together. I wish to live life with him, but, he’s gotta do what he’s gotta do. Screw the time zones and nights apart, I just want him to come home to me.

Hopefully you had a more exciting and memorable July, love bugs! In the mean time, be safe and kind, and thank you and your souls for stopping by.

Love,

Beeonsay

 

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